Reading between the lines of scientific writing

A friend sent me this image (alternative link) about what some sentences in a scientific paper or dissertation actually mean. It is intended to be humourous, but as with so much of satire and parody, there is certainly truth to some of these examples, don't you think?

This image has been around for a while, but in case you haven't seen it before, I present it to you now. I've made the table below out of the image for easier reading, with two additions to make it more relevant to some of my clients.

What is said	Actual meaning
It has long been known	I didn't look up the original reference
A definite trend is evident	The data are practically meaningless
While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions	An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published
Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study	The other results didn't make any sense
Typical results are shown	This is the prettiest graph
These results will be in a subsequent report	I might get around to this sometime, if published/funded
A careful analysis of obtained data	Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer (or teh ;))
After additional study by my colleagues	They didn't understand it, either
Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiement and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions	Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant
A highly significant area for exploratory study	A totally useless topic selected by my commmittee/supervisor/professor
In my experience	Once
In case after case	Twice
In a series of cases	Three times
It is believed that	I think
It is generally believed that	A couple of others think so, too
Correct within an order of magnitude	Wrong
According to statistical analysis	Rumour has it
It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs	I don't understand
A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings	A wild guess
It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigations in this field	I quit

However, in Addition to Moreover, Furthermore is Overused: Linking Sentences and Clauses

This article was written for the PPI Göttingen website as an addition to the 9^th May episode of Chatting Penting. You can read it there in PDF form; my version is found below.

In the 9^th May radio programme, Chatting Penting, Adnan asked a question regarding the use of words such as “furthermore”, “moreover”, and “additionally”. These words, known as conjunctive adverbs, link sentences, and serve only to inform readers of the fact that two sentences or clauses are related. As such, their purpose in English is limited, and only rarely do they add anything of substance to a sentence. Because many people use them too often, however, a common result is sentences that are cluttered, boring, and even confusing and unreadable.

Specifically, Adnan wanted to know when it was most appropriate to use conjunctive adverbs, how to avoid using the same ones repetitively, and how to keep two sentences or clauses related without using them. This article is a guide on how to do so.